Are You Really Not Good Enough?
I recall a conversation I had with a friend recently. We were reminiscing about how I had just joined a student club, with no prior experience about what I was supposed to do. I didn’t know anyone. Everyone else seemed to have their own rhythm in the flow of meetings, and I felt like I didn’t belong. My newfound friends were an exceedingly high-performance group of individuals.
I felt like I had no right to be there amongst them.
Later I withdrew…from my very first club membership, and I remember sharing about it with my friend, “I think I left for the best. I felt like I wasn’t good enough to contribute.
Imposter syndrome is loosely defined as, doubting your abilities and feeling like a fraud.
It’s a feeling shared by almost everyone. Albert Einstein even called himself an “involuntary swindler”. Nobody has found out quite yet as to exactly why people feel this way. But it can be boiled down to reasons ranging from your unique personality (for example, if you have had previous experiences with anxiety)…to your family background.
Remember when you felt your grades weren’t good enough for your teachers?
Has any of your siblings outshone you and were you overlooked once?
Experiences like that leave imprints in your memory. That in turn, affects your self-perception as you grow up. These people tend to attribute their achievements to luck, and not to their hard work.
They say: “Oh, it’s not like I deserve it. I just got lucky”.
Imagine you got first place in a tournament or exam. You might feel that those who got second and third are just as skilled or even better than you. Your imposturous thoughts toss and turn in your head.
But something you must know is, there is often no “threshold of accomplishment” that will automatically stop from you feeling like an imposter.
It’s sad to see how people let go of opportunities because of the voice in the back of their mind that tells them they’re not good enough. Don’t let it stop you from sharing your great ideas with the world or applying to that competition even if you’re scared to showcase your talents.
Since we don’t usually share in public about how often we feel left out, we don’t realize that the person next to us is probably feeling just as left out as we are right now. We forget that everyone doubts themselves sometimes.
At least for now, the closest way to feel like you belong is to talk with your friend of how you didn’t belong. I know it sounds contradictory but they might open up about how they thought you were the best candidate for the job. When you see your situation from somebody else’s point of view, things come into perspective.
I hope you can realize then that: you have talent, you are capable, and you belong.
Hi! I’m Dave! I’d appreciate it if you press the ‘clap’ and follow icons on the page! That way I would know whether you liked what you just read :) Have a nice day.
